


Heartstrings

by lelezz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Destiel - Freeform, Fallen Angels, Fallen Castiel, M/M, Season 8
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:31:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lelezz/pseuds/lelezz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean pops out of purgatory after a year to find a few things he never expected and some that stayed the same. There are still monsters and the majority of the angels are still dicks and of course it looks like the world needs saving again. But how can they defend against an enemy they don't know? How far will Dean go to save the missing piece he's only just found? Can he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first legit Destiel fic. I plan for it to be quite long and have most of the plot worked out, just need to write it. It was born out of a one-shot idea and my love for AU's that diverge from canon. Enjoy! Lemme know if you love it, hate it. Anything would be appreciated.

A man in a worn leather jacket sits with his back to the door. His weary hazel eyes flash as he scans the mirror along the back of the bar, keeping an eye on every exit. 

For an hour he has been holding one now warm beer in his hand. He is waiting. He doesn't know why this bar or why he hasn't left yet but he can't. He just can't. The main door on the far wall opens and his head swivels to better see the new patrons in the mirror. 

Two men enter, both look around their mid-thirties and their eyes sweep the room just like his had an hour ago. The slightly taller of the two relaxes fairly quickly. A smile slides across his face as his green eyes swing to his companion. The other man contrasts him in almost every concievable way. Blue eyes pierce the dimness of the bar and his long tan trench-coat and shiny black shoes look out of place next to his companion and the rest of the bar who are all dressed in jeans, boots and carhart or leather jackets.

His face is serious and his posture is rigid as if he's on alert for something to happen. He relaxes slightly as blue meets green and they make their way to the bar, a foot or less  
between them at any given time. 

"Two of whatever your best bottle is." Green eyes says slipping into a stool. The other man stands stiffly beside him, very much in his personal space. "Cas. Hey if you want to sit at a table instead of the bar go on over. I'll meet you." 

"Dean-" Cas shakes his head and Dean rolls his eyes, reaching up to grab one of the oversized buttons on the trenchcoat. The motion looks familiar and some of the rigidity in Blue Eyes' spine slips away as he meets Dean's eyes again. 

"I am fine. Now go pick a table. I'll get you some fries." His grin is back and Cas nods with a very small smile of his own. He touches Dean's thigh briefly before stepping away. Dean's eyes follow him until he is seated. Just a moment later his beers are on the counter and the fries have been ordered so he moves away towards the booth. Sliding in next to Cas he scoots in close and one of his arms naturally rises up onto the back of the bench seat. 

Dean picks up his beer and takes a sip but Cas hasn't moved. Suddenly Cas turns and his face slides in to rest in between Dean's neck and shoulder. Dean's hand on the back of the seat rises up and slides into the dark mop on Cas' head as he turns his own head and says something that can't be overheard from the bar. Cas lifts his head slightly to lean his forehead against Dean's and takes a deep breath, nodding. 

"I'm okay. We're okay." Can be read off of lips from across the room just before fries reach the table. The two men pull apart slightly but Dean's arm stays around Cas' shoulders as they eat. 

All has been seen that he needed to see, and then some. The man with the weary hazel eyes drains his warm beer in two pulls and drops a five on the bar as he stands. He takes one last glance in the mirror and sees a wide smile once again upon his son's face. It had been years since he had seen him grin like that. Even before he died, 6 years ago now, it had been rare. At least one of his boys found some happiness in the shitstorm that was a hunter's life.

He will never leave if he keeps watching so he tears his eyes away and makes his way out into the dark night. Disappearing is something he's always been good at.


	2. One Year Earlier

Light flashed from the ground briefly lighting up the darkening night. It outlines a figure standing above a grave holding a scrap of fabric to his arm. Green eyes flash as they scan the dim night around him before he reaches down into the open ground at his feet with his good arm. A much broader man of the same height is soon standing beside as well and he can't seem to stay still. He twists and turns and bends as if testing what he can do.

"Ah, Dean it's good to be topside." He stretches his arms above his head and cracks his neck with a grin before turning around. 

"Yeah I bet it is, Benny." Dean replies with a small smile. 

"Where'd Feathers fly off to? Finally getting you two a room somewhere?" Benny's grin drops off his face at the dark look that passes over Dean's.

"He-" Dean stops and clears his throat. "He didn't make it out." 

"Oh. Brother-" Benny stops as Dean holds his hand up and shakes his head. 

"I've gotta find Sammy. Make sure he's alright. Then we'll meet up again and...go from there, I guess."

"Alright." Benny nods and pulls Dean into a quick brotherly embrace. "I've got your digits so as soon as I get me a phone we'll be in touch." 

"Sounds good, man." Dean slaps him on the back and pulls away. "Be good. I'll see you soon." Benny nods and before anymore is said the sun fades away and so do they.

 

 

Three days later Dean is in Kermit, Texas standing on a street corner a block and a half away from a modest little yellow house. The hedges are trimmed nice and neat, lawn mowed, and the house looks to be in good repair. The impala is nowhere to be seen but all signs point to Sam being here, even though there appears to only be a woman with long curly brown hair and a large dog inside. Dean can’t bring himself to knock on the front door. 

Hey Sammy. How are you? I’m fine. Just popped out of another supernatural hellhole after fighting to stay alive for a year. No biggie. Who’s the cute chick you’re living with? Wanna leave her and come back to running and fighting for our lives with me? If not it’s cool. I slipped a vamp out with me and I’m gonna hook up with him later so you don’t need to worry, I’ve got backup. 

Yeah, that’s a great plan. Just as he’s getting ready to turn and walk away he hears her. That thrum and rumble that is so familiar he could find her in his sleep. The impala in all her ebony glory is coming up the street. Shining and purring like a kitten they pull into the driveway of the little yellow house and soon Sam is unfolding himself from behind the steering wheel. His hair is even longer than when Dean left and a wide smile breaks across his cheeks as the front door opens. The big brown and white dog bounds out to greet him followed by the woman he saw earlier. They kiss and Dean looks away.  
What the hell was he thinking? He can’t pull Sam away from this. Sam got out and he has built a life and now, just like that first time over 7 years ago, Dean is coming to rip him from it. 

At the exact moment Dean decides to turn and walk away the damned dog takes off across and down the street towards him. If he runs it’ll look suspicious and he’d like not to get bitten today either way so he just rubs his eyes and waits. When the dog reaches his feet he sits down and wags his tail. Dean reaches out a hand for the dog to sniff and gets licked. Just as he pulls his hand back and glares at the dog, Sam catches up. 

“Hey man. Sorry about-” Sam freezes and his eyes widen. Dean vaguely registers the chick with the long brown hair making her way down the street behind Sam. 

“Hiya Sammy.” He says with a small smile as his eyes catch Sam’s hand disappearing under his jacket, no doubt for his gun. “We can do the tests as soon as we’re out of public view so you’d probably better keep that in your jacket. Especially with your woman on the way. And Dude, nice catch by the way.” He smirks and throws Sam a wink just before he is pulled into his little brother’s arms. Dean lets out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding as his arms wrap tightly around Sam’s broad back. When they eventually pull back Sam’s eyes are shiny and the woman behind him looks very confused. 

“Sam?” she ventures and Sam wipes his hand over his face quickly before spinning around to face her. 

“Yeah, sorry. Dean, this is Amelia Richardson. Amelia this is my brother Dean.” 

“Dean.” Amelia says after a pause, eyes widening. “Your dead brother Dean?”

“Yeah, not dead.” Dean replies with a smirk and holds out his hand to shake hers. “Dean Winchester. It’s great to meet you.” Amelia takes his hand slowly and something around her wrist catches Dean’s eye. “That is beautiful. Is it silver?” He brushes a finger over the simple braided bracelet before releasing her hand, his eyes briefly catch Sam’s knowing glance. 

“Yes, yes it is.” Amelia says slowly. Then she smiles and looks up at Sam. “Sam gave it to me last night for our first anniversary.” 

“Wow, a year. That’s fantastic. Congratulations.” 

“Thank you.” Amelia grins. “Oh, how rude am I? Would you like to come in and see the house?”

“I would love to. Lead the way.” Dean smiles at her as she turns to lead the way back across the street, the dog right at her side. The brothers follow behind her, glancing at each other but not knowing what to say. Amelia continues talking and showing Dean items in the house but neither brother is paying very close attention. There are too many questions swirling around in the air for that.

 

 

“A year?” He says quietly to Sam. “Exactly how long did you look before you gave up?” Glancing over at his younger brother he is surprised to find him staring intently at the ground. They are out on the back deck of the house while Amelia fixes dinner.

“I stopped about a week ago, but in that year I never found enough information to even try following up on. There was nothing, Dean. Nothing we didn’t already know and nothing else I could get out of it. I’m sorry.” 

“What about Garth? And where is Kevin? Did you just leave him on his own?”

“Of course not, Dean.” Sam rolled his eyes. “Kevin and his mom are both holed up with Garth and Garth didn’t have any ideas we hadn’t tried already. And where is Cas, by the way? I didn’t think you’d let him out of your sight.”

“Cas-” Dean paused and cleared his throat, looking down at the beer bottle in his hand. “Cas didn’t make it out.” 

“Is he…alive?” Sam asked after a long pause. 

“I don’t know.” Dean drained the rest of his beer in a couple gulps and stood up. He stepped off of the porch and into the yard rubbing his face. Sam sat and waited for him to come back. Unless purgatory had drastically changed his brother it was going to take him a minute to get control over whatever was flying through his head. “What I do know is now that the smarter brother is back, we’re going to find a way to get there and find out.” 

“Sounds good.” Sam replied with a smirk as Amelia opened the back door. 

“Lunch is ready guys.” Amelia smiles and they follow her inside. As they sit down at the table she turns to Dean. “Do you have a hotel room booked for tonight Dean?” 

“Actually no. I got into town about half an hour before you guys found me.”

“Well then you’ll have to stay with us until you leave.” She smiles wide and Dean can see why Sam likes her so much. He was always a sucker for the cute and sweet ones. 

“Sounds good. It’ll only be for a few nights though. Got places to be.”

“Well it’ll be good to get to know you while you’re here.”

“Wow, Sam. Better get this one a ring before she comes to her senses.” Dean smirks as Sam rolls his eyes and blushes slightly. Amelia reaches over and takes his hand and Dean feels his heart squeeze a little. He knows he can’t stay. He can never stay. Seeing Sam happy like this again and with what he wants is enough. It will have to be enough because Dean can’t ask him to leave his life again. The only difference this time is that they both know it. 

 

 

Waking up in the guest room of Sam’s house is so strange but Dean thinks he likes it, at least after he realizes he’s not in purgatory anymore and the panic subsides. The first thing he notices is the way the room smells. It smells clean and fresh, like the windows were just closed because it’s summer and they’ve been open all day. There’s no strange stains on the cream sheets or brown striped comforter. It’s warm and he can just barely hear voices and dishes clanking through the door and down the hall in the kitchen. He opens the door and walks slowly down the hallway looking at the walls as he goes and the various pictures of Sam and Amelia and people he doesn’t know. He is shocked to find one of him nestled right in the middle, him and the Impala in a simple black frame. 

“So how long do you think Dean will be here?” Amelia ask quietly.

“No more than a day or two. He likes to stay on the move for the most part. And he’ll take the Impala with him. It’s always been his car.”

“So…”

“Yeah we’ll go and get your Subaru.” 

“YES!” Amelia laughs and Sam chuckles. Dean comes around the counter as they’re kissing in front of the stove. “I love you.” Amelia says when they separate. 

“I love you too.” Sam replies and grins. He kisses her once more, cupping her little face in his huge hands, before letting her go and turning back to the bacon Dean can smell cooking. Dean backtracks to halfway down the hall and clears his throat loudly. He takes his time getting back to the kitchen and when he enters Amelia is setting the table for three. 

“Good morning, Dean.” She smiles brightly. Amelia is pretty much always smiling and it’s a little creepy to Dean. “How did you sleep?”

“Great actually. Thanks.” Dean catches Sam’s eye briefly and nods his good morning as they all sit down. There’s a few minutes that are mostly silent except for the clinking of utensils and finally Dean can’t take it anymore. 

“So.” Dean clears his throat. “I think I’m gonna take off today, Sam.” His eyes swing over to his brother who is shaking his head and looking out of the kitchen window. 

“Of course you are.” 

“There’s just-”

“People to see, things to do. I get it.” Sam stands up and walks out into the living room and Dean takes a deep breath and follows. “One day, Dean.” Sam continues when they are alone. “One fucking day after you’ve been ‘dead’ for a year and you’re leaving again. Sometimes I can’t believe you man.”

“Look, Sammy.” Dean starts as Sam turns to face him. “You have something here. You have the life away from hunting that you always wanted and I’m not going to pull you out of it. Not again. And don’t tell me you want to come back for the life and not just to be around me again because I know that’s not true.” 

“But what about finding Cas?” Sam asks defiantly. 

“I know a few other people that can help with that. Just research if you can or want to and if you find anything call me. I don’t think there’s much that any of us can do for him anyway to be honest.” Sam has a pained look on his face that Dean just can’t deal with so he looks away. “I’ll keep in touch, okay? Any new development and you’ll know. I swear.” Sam nods and steps in closer to his brother. 

“You better call me if you actually need help and you better be careful.”

“Always.” Dean smirks and Sam shakes his head, pulling him in for a hug.  
Two hours later Dean is back in his baby and watching Sam and Amelia grow smaller and smaller in his rear view mirror until they and their perfect little yellow house disappear.


	3. Chapter 2

Twigs snap underneath his feet and tree branches grab at him in the darkness. He is moving so quickly now he doesn’t even know where he is or where they are. All he sees are the two shapes ahead of him and focuses on keeping them there and alive. The sounds of movement behind him are getting louder and louder. Closer and closer by the second. 

“Comin’ in on the right!” He hears from in front of him and turns his head just in time to see one of the two tackled to the ground. The other whips around and beheads the kitsune. Dean reaches them, pulling him to his feet. 

“We gotta-” Nothing more comes out of Deans mouth as a white light flashes through the clearing. He looks down to see the tip of the angel blade protruding through Cas’ sternum. His gaze swings up to meet shocked blue eyes and then they’re falling to the ground as legs give out. He doesn’t know which of them collapses first. 

“No no no no no.” Dean’s hand comes up to cup the back of Cas’ head as it starts to loll. “We’re almost home. No. Not now, please.” Blue eyes that are far brighter than normal are looking into his own. 

“De-” and then pure white light is blinding him and he can’t move to cover his eyes. It’s over before his brain can even catch up to what’s happening. When his eyes adjust again he looks down at the limp form in his arms and the burned outline of wings on the ground. 

No. 

This isn’t how this was supposed to happen. They were supposed to get back. 

No.

NO.

“NO!” Dean jolts to a sitting position in the dark; gasping for breath with his shirt so stuck to his torso with sweat he can barely breathe. He panics, twisting and pulling it up and over his head before throwing it away from him. The blankets are flung away next and he rests his head in his hands as he tries to breathe. Without looking up he slowly becomes aware of his surroundings. Shitty motel number one billion with standard itchy sheets and no air flow. If he’s in the hotel room then Benny must be somewhere here too. He takes one more deep breath before opening his eyes. Benny is sitting in a chair at the cheap rickety dining room table quietly watching him, book held loosely in one hand.

“Feathers.” is all he says. Dean rubs his face and out of the corner of his eye sees Benny nod. There’s not a lot that Dean has to explain to Benny and that’s how he likes it. Nothing more is said and Dean heads straight for the shower. The clock blinks 4:48 as he passes. He slept for just over 3 and a half hours. At least he got a decent night’s sleep.

Dean’s hands are still shaking as he steps under the hot stream of water. He clenches and releases them but they don’t seem to want to stop. That’s not what happened. He keeps repeating the thought to himself until it changes into something he doesn’t want to think about. You didn’t see it happen. He forces out a shallow frustrated breath and leans back in the small shower. The cold tile against his too warm skin helps to clear his mind and pull him out of his dream, but it doesn’t take away the image of white light burning out the dying blue in Castiel’s eyes. 

Dean is practically a statue until he feels the water running cold and doesn’t get out until he is shivering. He takes his time getting dressed, still replaying the damn dream in his head. Sometimes in the dream Benny is still there but closer and he almost saves Cas; sometimes it’s even Sam. But every damn time Cas dies and Dean lives. As if Dean wasn’t already aware of that it should’ve been him not Cas, never Cas. 

“Brother, you gonna wanna hit the road straight away?” Benny’s voice booms through the door. Dean glances at the cheap plastic clock in the bathroom that probably used to be round and white. At almost six there’s no point in waiting. 

“Yeah. You got a destination in mind?” Dean opens the door to find Benny in that same rickety chair but with the laptop on the table in front of him now. 

“You want something to shoot, stab or burn?” 

“Whatever is down the road I can drive the fastest.”

“Montana it is.”

 

The ghost in Bozeman was a quick and easy two day search and scorch. Almost too easy. So was the next one, the small three member vamp nest, and werewolf after that. The only trouble came from some demons they ran into outside of Reno. 

The tallest of the small group had caught Dean off guard in an almost embarrassing way and had him on the ground, knife at his throat quicker than he could even track where his gun had been flung off to. Luckily though this demon liked to talk.

“So are the rumors true about your brother and your beloved fallen angel?” The demon smirked as Dean tried to twist himself free unsuccessfully. “I’m going to take that as a yes. The other legendary Winchester, boy with the demon blood that started the apocalypse just a few years ago living a boring, defenseless, civilian life? Seems almost wrong doesn’t it? So much power and potential thrown away for love. Sickening.” The knife briefly left Dean’s neck to trail up his face and back down slowly. 

“But then there’s your love, the angel who literally fell for you, that you left behind. Yes we’ve heard stories, whispers from one dark place to another about how you refused to leave without him, how close you were, and how far you went to save him. Up until the last second, the time it actually mattered and you left him behind. You Winchesters have a habit of doing that don’t you?” The knife sliced quickly down Dean’s cheek leaving a long, thin, even cut down his cheek. “Usually the people you leave behind are left because they’re dead doing something for you but no matter.” The demon yanked Dean’s head back to look into his eyes. “Now you are all that is left and you might see them soon enough. Well if you believe in all the clouds and harps bullshit. Either way our king will be pleased to hear one Winchester is out of the way, with plans for dealing with the other already in motion. It will be a great day for Hell inde-” The knife dropped away from Dean’s neck at the bodyweight holding him to the ground disappeared. 

“Damn that son of a bitch liked to hear his own voice.” Benny helped Dean off of the ground, smiling. “Lucky for you. Where’s the fire?” Dean was already running for the outside, phone in hand before Benny was done speaking. 

“Dammit Sam.” Dean cursed getting nothing but voicemail three times in a row before actually leaving a message. “Sam pick up your goddamn phone. Demons we dealt with just let slip something is coming for you so you need to get your shit together and get gone. Call me as soon as you get this. I fucking mean it, Sam! You call me now.” 

“Maybe he was lying.” Benny broke the tense silence. 

“I doubt it. They never have when they said they were coming for us. Only the amount of time you got before they show up changes. Get in, we’re going to Texas.”


End file.
